Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Diagnostic Essay Reflection

The diagnostic essay I wrote at the beginning of the semester carried a solid argument but lacked appropriate evidence to fully substantiate my claims. The thesis I proposed, that everyone has some degree of power which is determined by their position and the resources available to them, was supported by very extreme examples which, while effective in proving my point, carried a degree of absurdity that detracted from their efficacy.

The two examples I chose to prove that everyone had some degree of power were Mao Tse-Tung and a toddler. Mao, as the dictator of China, exemplified essentially unlimited power in his nation while the toddler demonstrated that even a child, who can choose what to eat or where to play, has some degree of power. While the example with Mao was fully fleshed out and addressed all the parts of my claim, the example with the toddler was spotty and lacked focus. I chose such extreme examples to demonstrate that all people from both ends of the spectrum had power, but the examples were so extreme that they seemed almost random and disjointed.

Compared to the other essays I have written throughout the semester, this first essay was weaker in that it did not have enough focus and did not fully explain the examples used to a degree that would have fully shown the comprehensiveness of my thesis. A possible addition that would solidify my argument would be a paragraph explaining why it would be impossible to find a person with no power or a concession and a rebuttal to an exception. However, the essay overall did a decent job of conveying my point and was able to sufficiently support my argument.

No comments:

Post a Comment